Although swingers dating and swingers groups may sound weird to people that are not part of the lifestyle, to the people in the swinger community these make perfect sense. They are both ways of meeting new people and challenging your perceptions in order to experience and discover more about yourself and others. But swingers, either singles or couples, should do some research before making any commitments.
What Does Swingers Dating Mean?
Swingers have had a hard time getting together in safe spaces in order to be themselves and practice their lifestyle the way they want. Throughout history they have been misunderstood, vilified and even harassed for the way they choose to live their lives. This is why getting together with other likeminded people is so hard for them sometimes. There are a lot of things they have to be aware of and a lot of rules they must respect in order for their “meetings” to happen.
Swingers dating is one of the ways that swingers can get together and let loose in a safe space designed especially for them. A simple definition of this concept would be that a date between swingers is just as any other normal date just that it involves two couples and much higher probability of sex than in other cases. Although not all dates work out, just like all other people, swingers still have to take the risk and meet new people in order to have a healthy relationship.
The dates can be pre-arranged, with couples that have met before or, just like in the case of all other people, blind. A blind date between two singers’ couples involves a series of rules and social conventions that each couple has to abide by in order for the date to actually work. Although swingers in general are somewhat of a reclusive community, choosing to not venture too far from their own kind when it comes to meeting people, some couples do take chances and try to engage with new people through these dates.
The Rules of Swingers Dating
Although there isn’t necessarily a strict set of rules that swingers dating can abide, there should always be some ground rules between the two couples. These will serve as a buffer until the people involved can get to know each other a little better, and move to the next phase of their date. These rules should always be set in accordance with every party involved, so as to better assess where their comfort zone is and how far can you go without stepping on any toes or hurting any feelings.
One such rule should be to always make a decision only if the entire group agrees on it. Having two people decide on a single thing is sometimes hard enough, but having four might seem as practically impossible. And yet, swinger couples meeting for the first time should try and reach an agreement on every major topic. Things like what you can and cannot do to the other person’s partner, where is better to meet and how soon should the next date be are just some of the things that should require a unanimous vote in order for them to be agreed upon. As in any relationship, communication is key, and therefore this principle should be applied in this case as well.
Another rule, especially if the date is a blind one, should be that no couple should ask the other couple for anything special. First dates are hard enough without the added pressure of the other person expecting something from you at the end of the night. It is very important that these things be known to all involved as soon as the date starts. There should be no guarantees of any kind regarding any kind of relations. If the date goes well, and everybody involved feels a certain chemistry taking place, then the best thing to do is let yourself be guided by instinct. But you shouldn’t leave home with the singletrack mind of having sex with a different person. Respecting these rules isn’t really that hard, especially if everybody involved comes up with them and agrees to them.
What Are Swingers Groups?
When people outside of the swinger community think about swingers groups they probably imagine a mass of naked bodies, somewhere poolside, indulging in their every carnal fantasy. And they are mostly right. Swingers tend to get together in larger groups and just be themselves. But a group for swingers doesn’t necessarily refer to an orgy with a tropical sunset in the background. Groups like these usually refer to groups on social networks. These are virtual places where swingers can talk about themselves or their partners or even arrange dates among themselves.
Some time ago, when dedicated sites started appearing all over the internet, the people operating those sites understood that swingers needed to be able to communicate amongst themselves without the fear of speaking out of place or being harassed by somebody that didn’t agree with their lifestyle. And so, places like swingtowns.com were born. This site represents the world’s largest non-monogamous community and they try to make each and every member feel at home. Sites like this one offer numerous groups and chats for all the people interested in the swinger lifestyle, all in a safe online space run by likeminded people.
How to Choose the Right Swingers Groups?
Nobody says one can’t be a member of more than one swingers groups. The idea is to choose the groups you join carefully in order to find the people you have the most in common with. Remember that being a swinger isn’t all about the sex with strangers and satisfying your kinks. It’s also about taking care of the needs of others, meeting and tipes new people in order to create long lasting relationships. This is why when browsing through the groups available to you, it is important to keep your eyes open for a couple of things before joining them.
The first way of selecting your groups should be based on distance. Preferably you should find groups with members from your town or near it. This will give you a kind of “home court advantage”. Knowing the places you can meet others saves you a lot of time and effort. You can pretty much have an idea about the people that are in a group based on where they choose to meet. This is why it’s helpful to start your search close to home.
As you broaden your search you should look for groups of swingers with similar interests to yours. Getting a 100% match with all the people in a group regarding sexual preferences might be impossible, but it is worth a try. You never know what you might discover about yourself or who you might meet.